Monday, January 22, 2007

decision making time - hungry anyone?

At my school we are on yearly contracts, so there is no tenure and you just don't necessarily stay in the same position forever. This, I have always thought, is a great thing. It alleviates complacence and allows us to follow our "passions" and remain interested, engaged and up-to-date. This is the time of year when everyone starts thinking about what they will be doing next year. It's a crazy time and brings a lot of stress that I am finding it hard to deal with. I know that my current problem isn't really a "problem" but I'm just having a hard time deciding what to do. I know there are people out there with no options, and I have several and I really do know how lucky I am, but you know how when there are too many options in the vending machine you sometimes just can't decide if you want a Snickers, a Kit Kat or a Butterfinger (yes, Mike, I know you always opt for the Butterfinger...) - well, that's what I'm facing right now.

I could stick with what I'm doing - the Snickers, in this case. It's always good, I always enjoy it and I know what I'm doing. I could opt for the Kit Kat which would have me doing something new and doing several things and not just in my one classroom. Or, I could go with the Butterfinger and take a position I know a lot about and while it's maybe not as "involved" as the Snickers, it still involves significant planning time. My conundrum is this: I have been apart from Mike for a year (or will have been) and I am interested in taking on a position that might offer me more "outside" (quality time, if you will) time to spend with him- so like this weekend that just passed, I would spend it with Mike instead of spending 6 hours planning on Saturday and another 6 on Sunday. The Kit Kat option is new and I fear that, while it would be fun, it would be just as much work and I might miss out on all the extras that come with teaching in a classroom (i.e. peer interaction, working with kids, etc.). There is one layer of the Snickers option that I'm just unhappy with, but it is something I could live with. The Butterfinger option would allow me to teach in my passion area, an area I'm really comfortable with and knowledgeable and excited about, but it comes with a lot of outside work - which is probably less than what the Snickers option has, but still...The other thing is I REALLY need to finish my flippin' dissertation and I think that I'm just going to have to deal with the fact that it is going to take me twice as long working full time (and I don't want to work part-time, but still).

Ok, so maybe I've taken the candy analogy a bit too far, but I'm clearly obsessing and stressing about this and on top of that, now I'm hungry!!!

I love you Mike!

1 comment:

Kym said...

Hey girl,
My suggestion...Take a deep breath and follow your heart...and you will end up with the best candy bar ever!!!!

I haven't heard from you in a while, how are you doing other wise? It is hard dealing with the littlest things when "our" Mike's are gone but you are a strong woman and will figure it out.

I've got 4 days and a wake-up! I am just a little excited. Althought I still find myself trying not to get overly excited, I guess I'm waiting for that phone call saying it's not going to happen. I know how the Navy can work at times.

Keep in touch and I will say a few prayers for you while you make your decision. (I actually include you in my prayers everday!)

Oh BTW....GREAT post on Saturday. You are always so thoughtful....

Take care, KYM